


SUBURBIA

by artificialmac



Series: Blue Neighborhood [12]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Development, F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Hopeful Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: The girls of the Blue Neighborhood grew up together. Playing in the streets, trading secrets, and falling in love.And maybe, just maybe, they can forgive each other."There's so much history in these streets/So much history in my head/The people I've left/The ones that I've kept/Seems [we're] never letting go of Suburbia."
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Jackie Cox, Nicky Doll/Crystal Methyd
Series: Blue Neighborhood [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708849
Comments: 11
Kudos: 16





	SUBURBIA

**Author's Note:**

> A million and one thanks to everyone who has been here for this journey, I cannot thank you enough for your support and comments and love. I'm so thankful to have you guys and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations. 
> 
> All my love to Meggie for betaing. All my love to Alex who made me actually start writing this series a year ago. All my love to Barbie for letting me bounce ideas off of her. 
> 
> All my love to you all reading this. <3

Rock bit back a smile as she heard footsteps bounding up the stairs to the prop room. 

A week ago she would have scuttled into the far corner and hid until the person left, but now, as Aiden's flushed face appeared in the doorway, Rock felt only a trace of nervousness. 

“What’s up, bitch?” Aiden said by way of greeting.

Rock rolled her eyes, but patted the cool stone floor beside her, motioning for the other girl to sit. Aiden took her spot silently, the two falling into a sort of semi-comfort that they had developed over the past weeks.

Rock pulled out her phone, instinctively tapping through the screen to pull up the next episode of _Sailor Moon_.

She felt rather than heard Aiden’s complaint from beside her. “We are not watching this garbage again,” the dark-haired girl said, making a grab for the phone in Rock’s hand. But Rock had been anticipating this, and snatched her hand away in the nick of time, ratcheting up the volume a few notches to drown out Aiden’s groan of defeat.

“You were the one who busted up into my lunch spot. You can either bite your tongue or find another place to hide from everyone who’s pissed at you,” Rock retorted. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t like it, I see the way you look at Neptune, you fucking lesbian.”

Aiden rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched up. “First of all, you’re a bitch. Second of all, shut up.”

Rock smirked. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

Aiden waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, just play the damn show so I don’t have to hear you talk anymore.”

Rock smiled smugly to herself, pressing play and sinking back against the cold brick wall, Aiden’s warm presence heavy at her side.

The two watched in relative silence, save for Rock’s occasional need to info dump about a particular scene or character. Aiden rolled her eyes and gave her biting comments, but Rock could tell she appreciated the attention not being on her.

Ever since Aiden had been outed as the person behind the drama account, she had sunk even more into the background. Where before she would pipe in with snark and wit, now she sat back in silence, letting herself practically disappear in the horde. 

Rock understood the feeling in a way.

Maybe that’s why they seemed to get along.

Aiden had stumbled up to the prop room one day, seeking asylum from her mistakes, and Rock had let her. 

But questions still ate at her, bit at the tension in the air around them as they continued to watch in silence. Rock could feel them steadily bubbling to the surface, tempting her to ruin the peace she and Aiden had found. 

She bit the bullet, pressing pause, noticing her breathing was coming out harsher than before.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked.

The question hung still in the air for a long while, so long that Rock nearly looked up to see if Aiden was still sitting beside her.

The older girl sighed, long and low. “You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah.” Rock nodded, turning to meet Aiden’s eyes. “I lied.”

Aiden broke the contact, putting her head in her hands and letting out a shaky exhale. Rock expected her to leave, to lash out and storm away.

But Aiden just breathed in and out once more before lifting her head, staring at the stone floor intently. “My parents got divorced the summer before freshman year,” she said slowly, as if testing out the words on her tongue. “It came out of nowhere. There were no big fights or warning signs, just… divorce. And Mom never said why.”

Rock saw the other girl’s features soften the tiniest bit before harsh lines replaced them.

“We were happy. A happy, normal family. We played board games and went on camping trips and spent hours staring up at the clouds.” Aiden bit her lip harshly. “It came out of nowhere.”

She took a steadying breath before speaking again. “And then my dad got real sick. Couldn’t be on his own so he moved back in. And I couldn’t—” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t know how to be there… in that house.”

“Everyday I would come back from school and I’d have lost a little more of him,” she practically whispered, voice suddenly hoarse and grating. “Mom did her best, caring for a man she didn’t love anymore, but she worked, and I went to school and… and… and we weren’t there for him.”

There was a beat of silence before Aiden spoke again. “I didn’t go home the week after he died. I slept in the theatre seats down there, showered in the locker rooms. _Fuck._ ”

Rock didn’t know what to say, couldn't imagine the pain and suffering that lived inside this girl she had known for so long. 

Aiden’s expression hardened, but she still refused to look up from where her eyes were fixed on the floor. “That week I started noticing stuff. People doing shit they weren’t supposed to, shit that didn’t make sense.” 

“The account wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a place to post dumb shit about the people who were dicks to me.”

Aiden finally turned to meet Rock’s gaze, her eyes wide and helpless. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand, but all of a sudden people found it, and were sending the account other stuff. Confessions, kinks, teacher-student relationships and I-I didn’t know what to do.”

“And then I saw Gigi and Jaida,” Aiden exhaled shakily.

“And I remembered how hurt Crystal had been all those years ago, how hurt she still was about the whole thing. And I tried to bring it up to her, but she shot me down. And I tried to let it go, I really did. But they just kept hooking up, and they weren’t even being secretive about it. And after three fucking years of hurting Crystal, I thought they deserved a little bit of shit for what they did.”

“So you posted the picture.” Rock nodded.

“Yeah.” Aiden sighed. 

Rock took a deep breath in and out. “I didn’t know that, about your dad.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t want the pity. I didn’t want people… looking after me. It didn’t feel right since I didn’t-I couldn’t look after him.”

Rock nodded. “That all must have been…” She paused. “Really overwhelming,” she said lightly, placing a gentle hand on Aiden’s shoulder. 

Aiden scoffed, shrugging off Rock’s affection. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you…” Aiden floundered, “I dunno, understand. Like you’re not mad.”

Rock shook her head. “Oh, I’m mad,” she assured.

Aiden looked down to her fingers, toying with the laces of her shoes.

“But I get why you did it.”

Aiden shook her head, words coming out in a desperate whisper. “I’m not sure I do.”

“You want answers.” Rock shrugged. “That’s all any of us want. You want to know why your parents divorced, you want to know why people lie, you want to know how someone could cheat on someone else.”

Aiden looked up to meet Rock’s eyes, the first look of genuine vulnerability passing between them.

“You don’t get to know.” Rock smiled sadly. “You gotta suck it up like the rest of us and get comfortable with not knowing.”

Aiden’s gaze darted away, breaking eye contact again, but Rock didn’t stop. “You don’t get to make up a narrative and force other people to fit it. You wanna be emo and angsty and upset at the world, fine, you do that, but you don’t get to ruin other people’s lives just because you got dealt a shit hand in life.”

“Tough talk for a bitch hiding in a prop room,” Aiden snapped. 

Rock chuckled. _That’s the Aiden she knew._ “In case it escaped your notice, you’re also up here hiding, dumbass.”

Aiden looked at Rock hard, walls up, defenses primed, ready to attack.

But then she laughed.

Really, genuinely laughed. 

And she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until tears started streaming down her face, and she was hiccuping around sobs she desperately tried to fight off.

And Rock held her through it.

* * *

Brita couldn’t help a smile as she made her way down the hallway and through the open doors to the art room. She was met with a chorus of greetings that still managed to make her stomach flip.

She took up her usual seat next to Heidi, and the two began to trade the entirety of their respective lunches. They fell into easy conversation, as the couples on either side of the room were too absorbed in each other to pay them any mind.

Brita watched them out of the corner of her eye, blaming it on curiosity. 

Nicky and Crystal sat next to each other, smiling ear to ear and occasionally feeding each other bites of food like lovesick idiots. 

“They’re so gross,” Heidi groaned from beside her.

The two girls in question whipped around to glare at her. 

“I miss when you were both too gay to talk to each other. Can we go back to that? I miss that.” Heidi whined, stabbing at the pasta Brita brought with a fork.

Crystal raised a challenging brow at Heidi, and without breaking eye contact, which was a feat in and of itself, pulled Nicky in for an overly loud kiss.

Heidi scowled. “I hate y’all.” 

Brita laughed at the pair, but as their kiss became more heated, she turned her head, hoping to conceal the flush that ran the length of her neck. 

She shook her head to clear it, mind suddenly muddled as she tried to piece together the feelings welling up inside her at such a public display. Her eyes flitted around the room, latching on to anything that could keep her attention.

She saw Gigi, who was perched on one of the tables, elbows resting atop her knees, head in her hands as Jackie rambled on about something to do with a new congresswoman who was ‘changing the political game.’ 

They seemed... comfortable. At ease around each other in a way that wasn’t unexpected, they had known each other their whole lives, yet Brita was still shocked when they announced they were dating. But now, looking at the two sharing gentle smiles over their respective lunches, Brita didn’t know why she never put the two together before. The pair was well-matched. Their quiet intimacy seeped into their conversation, gentle giggles erupting every so often from their side of the room.

Brita again found herself oddly entranced.

Was that what it was like to love a woman?

Was it always so… tender?

Nausea filled the pit in her gut, and she turned away from the happy couple. 

Internalized Homophobia.

She had read about it on the internet. Hadn’t batted her eye at the definition the first time, but now it seemed to be coming back to her.

It didn’t feel good, not at all. Confronting that about herself. Seeing such blatant representation of something she had learned to bury so long ago.

But it wasn’t impossible.

She knew that to get to the bottom of this… whatever it was she was feeling, she had to confront it head on. She had to understand where it came from and why it seemed to hurt her so much.

These girls, these couples moreover, were showing her that it didn’t have to be so hard. That there was a chance for happiness, unabashed joy even. Love.

And that, funnily enough, gave her hope.

Heidi chuckled from beside her, noticing her red face. “You sure you don’t like girls, Miss Filter?” 

It took everything in her not to flinch. 

Instead, Brita simply shrugged. 

And she counted that a victory.

* * *

Widow started as she nearly ran headfirst into a lanky brunette. 

Before she could so much as say something, the figure had bolted toward the school building. Widow just watched him go, an amused smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. As she rounded the sports shed, she overheard her friend’s voice clear and brash as always.

“Matthews only cares if your paper’s in fucking English, doesn’t matter the content.”

A short blonde girl rolled her eyes pointedly and went to say something, but Dahlia stopped her with a hand. “You know the rules yeah? Change the first and last word for each paragraph.”

The girl nodded.

Dahlia pulled out a handful of loose papers and held them out to the freshman, who grabbed them wordlessly. “Now get lost.” 

Widow smiled as the young kid scampered off. 

“You really should charge them more,” she called out.

Dahlia started at the sound of another voice, but relaxed as she identified the source. 

She smirked, shrugging. “Consider it a donation to charity.”

“I dunno if you can count having half the freshman class cheat off of you for tax write-offs.”

Dahlia chuckled. 

“You ‘bout done here?” Widow asked, gesturing to the makeshift office Dahlia had set up.

The younger girl nodded, throwing papers haphazardly into her open backpack.

Widow looked around, the breeze ruffling her curls and sending a shiver down her spine. “Yeah, let’s get outta here, this place gives me the creeps.”

“You think this place is bad, you should see the old greenhouse. That shit’s fuckin’ haunted, man.” Dahlia shook her head.

Widow’s eyes lit up. “The WHAT?”

Dahlia turned to stare wide eyed at her. “You serious? You ain’t ever gone by it?”

Widow shook her head dumbly. 

Dahlia chuckled, flinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way, bitch.” Widow smiled.

They walked for only ten minutes, past the baseball field and through the line of trees that bordered the athletic quad. Through a patch of thick brush they came to a small clearing. An old greenhouse stood practically tethered to the surrounding vegetation, only because of the fading light reflecting against the frosted glass could Widow even make out the corners of the structure.

Before they could so much as stop, Widow was excitedly pulling her camera out of her school bag, fiddling with the aperture until she got the lighting perfect on the small screen in front of her. 

Dahlia rolled her eyes fondly, allowing her friend to stalk around the building, snapping endless pictures, mumbling about shutter speed and light refraction. It was only a matter of time, and a few pleading words from Widow, before Dahlia found herself posing next to the greenhouse. 

“I regret this already,” she groaned but allowed Widow to pose her in various absurd positions, all of which felt incredibly awkward, yet came out stunning. 

The two girls ventured into the structure, finding the inside just as overgrown and sprawling as the outside. It felt much bigger on the inside, wooden tables covered in pots lined the walls, leaving only a center plot of ground to walk, but the walls were massive, green tint to the window panes making the ceiling appear vaulted.

“This place is gorgeous, oh my god!” Widow exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in excitement. She whipped around to face Dahlia, eyes alight with her signature mischief. “Oh my god, D, we could totally give this place a makeover.”

Dahlia went to protest, because _really_? But Widow started talking a mile a minute before she could get a word in. 

“Just move that plant over there and that table against the far wall, and we could probably fit a couch in here if we turned it sideways. My dad has this old one in the basement that we don’t use. We could get Jaida’s truck and haul it here. And I know Crystal would fucking love to paint in this place. Not to mention we could totally smoke here without getting caught. And—”

Dahlia finally butted in. “What do I look like? Fuckin’ HGTV?”

Widow rolled her eyes, turning to face her friend, the plea evident in her tone. “This place could be a really bangin spot, D,” she implored. “Plus, with it gettin cold an’ all, we’ve got fuck all to do.”

Dahlia sighed. “Remind me why we’re friends.” Even as she said it, Dahlia couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up the sides of her face.

“Because you love me.” Widow whined, pulling Dahlia closer, and peppering kisses against the side of her face.

Dahlia pushed her off gently, miming vomiting, and Widow just laughed.

The two cleared off a bit of the tables, each setting up across from each other. They fell into a comfortable silence, inhaling and exhaling the late autumn breeze, watching as their breath danced in the air.

“You talked to Gigi?” Widow finally asked, shattering their peaceful silence. 

Dahlia sighed, long and low. “Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Said I was sorry about the stuff at the party. I didn’t know… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I had no clue.”

“None of us did.”

“Yeah, but it was kinda my fault in the first place.”

Widow shrugged. “It woulda come out one way or another.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dahlia bit her lip, refusing to meet Widow’s eyes.

“But?”

“But, I still gotta talk to Jan.” 

Widow sighed, but nodded her head knowingly. “Yeah, you do,” she agreed.

“I just don’t know how the fuck to go about it.”

Widow scoffed. “Maybe start with ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Dahlia groaned, letting her head drop into her open hands. “Fuck, man. I really messed up.”

“You knew that when you fell for another girl’s boyfriend,” Widow replied.

“Yeah, but it just got so complicated.”

Widow nodded, smiling sadly. “That’s life for ya. Doesn’t mean you don’t do the right thing.”

Dahlia nodded into her hands, breathing in and out slowly. When she finally looked up to meet Widow’s eyes, she nodded. “She and Bryce broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me last week. I didn’t know how to feel.”

There was a pause. “How _do_ you feel?” Widow asked.

Dahlia looked at her for a moment, mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “I dunno. I thought I’d be… happy? I guess. But I just feel… nothing.”

Widow nodded. “Well, hey, if you’re ever feeling down, just know that Joe asks me at least once a month if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dahlia laughed, even though she hadn’t wanted to. “I’ve still got it,” she joked.

Widow rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ve always had it, bitch. You just been wastin’ it on guys you couldn’t have.”

“Yeah yeah, all right, who are you, my therapist?”

Widow suddenly got very serious, her voice grave. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s fuckin’ terrifying.”

“Hey!” Dahlia yelled, flinging a handful of dirt at her friend.

Widow held up her hands in surrender. “Your mind is a scary place, D.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

* * *

Heidi looked up as the door to the house across the street opened and closed, revealing an exhausted looking Jaida. 

The All-Star player exhaled loudly, leaning against her front door. When she opened her eyes, she saw Heidi and had the decency to look embarrassed. 

Heidi just smiled knowingly. “You too?”

The tension in Jaida’s shoulders dissipated as she recognized Heidi’s meaning. “Dude,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know.” Heidi chuckled.

“It’s like... they don’t know how to act like people.”

“I know!” Heidi agreed. “What’s with that?”

“The fuck if I know.” Jaida smiled warmly.

“Promise me if I ever get old and start acting like that you’ll just shoot me in the head.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Jaida chuckled. 

“Hey!” Heidi scoffed, waving the bowl she had around animatedly. 

Jaida just laughed, easy and light.

“Whatcha got there?” She motioned to the Tupperware in Heidi’s hands.

A mischievous smile broke out across Heidi’s face. “Banana pudding,” she winked. “Best you’ve ever had, I guarantee.”

Jaida’s eyes lit up and she raised a brow inquisitively at the dish. 

“Go grab a few spoons and you can try some.” Heidi nodded.

“A few?”

“If you think we the only ones with crazy family on Thanksgiving, you got another thing comin’.”

As if on cue, the door to Jackie’s house banged open, the aforementioned girl storming out the door and into the street, breathing harshly. Heidi could feel the anger and hurt rolling off her in waves, and felt sympathy well up inside her. She knew Jackie’s family was rough, they’d been especially difficult the past month with her relationship with Gigi coming to light. 

Heidi didn’t think twice about waving her over with a sweeping gesture.

“Hey, guys,” Jackie exhaled, the lines beside her face appearing deeper than they had a few days ago.

The two gave her sympathetic looks.

Heidi clocked the moment Jackie noticed the dish in her hands, her eyes widening a fraction. Heidi patted the ground beside her. “Jaida’s gonna go grab spoons.”

Jaida rolled her eyes but made her way back into the house.

Just then, Nicky’s door opened and the French beauty made her way outside, lighting a cigarette like a reflex as she noticed the girls. She waltzed over to them, smiling all the while. “I thought the point of this holiday was that you were supposed to spend time with your family.”

Before either of them could answer, Crystal’s door banged open.

“Nicky, that better not be what I think it is!”

Nicky’s eyes went wide and she quickly doused her cigarette with her shoe. The french beauty turned on her heel, offering a wide and not at all suspicious smile to her girlfriend. “ _Ma préféré_! I do not know what you mean.”

Crystal raised a challenging eyebrow as she made her way over to the three girls. She surveyed the two on the ground, who pointedly looked away, not about to get in the middle of whatever the fuck those two were on about.

“Mhmmm.” Crystal rolled her eyes.

Jaida appeared again, with several spoons and her own tray of biscuits.

Jackie got up excitedly and rushed back into her house, claiming that she had food too.

The group set up their small feast in the middle of the numerous parked cars that lined the cul de sac. Chatting animatedly about their respective family drama.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Widow, holding a vat of green beans that her family wouldn’t eat, even though she swore they were seasoned to perfection.

Slowly, one by one, each of the houses in the cul de sac opened and closed, girls pouring out of them, some with food, others with hopeful smiles. 

Gigi had bounded over to the group, arms extended with a pot of mac ‘n cheese. She had sidled up right next to Jackie, the new couple whispering in hushed voices, blush high on their cheeks.

Brita joined them not long after, an array of silverware in her hands, and plopped down with Heidi.

Next was Dahlia, with a bottle of wine in each hand. 

When Jan joined the group, she looked skeptically at the bottles, but bravely took a swig from each, wincing a bit at the taste.

At some point Rock had snuck into the circle, her occasional odd comment taking the group off guard at the suddenness of her appearance. 

The comfortable conversation slowly petered out when Aiden arrived.

The black-haired girl gave a weak smile, gesturing down to the pot in her hands. “I brought stuffing,” she spoke softly.

There was silence.

The group stared at her, and Aiden stared back

The silence went on, each girl’s eyes flitting about the circle, unwilling to be the first to speak.

Until, Rock bit the bullet. “Thank god someone here knows what real Thanksgiving food is!” 

There was another beat of silence. 

And then conversations resumed. 

Slowly at first.

The tension was still there, Aiden wasn’t forgiven, but the tense atmosphere eased a bit as the black-haired girl took up a seat on the outskirts of the group next to Rock, placing her dish in the middle of the circle.

Heidi surveyed the scene, smiling at the sight. A mixture of voices bubbled up from all sides as the girls fell into new, comfortable conversations. 

She marveled at the fading color of the trees, signaling the change of season, and the coming winter. As she glanced back over to the group of girls gathered in the center of the street, head clouded, heart full, the only emotion she could pinpoint was hope. 

Hope that the girls of the Blue Neighborhood had what it took to tackle the rest of their senior year.

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel - The Bloom Series: TBA


End file.
